Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Creep Show




[photo from HERE]



Probably not a newsflash, but I’m here to tell you that this year’s crop of presidential candidates is the creepiest ever.

We’ve had creepy candidates before, here and there, and we’ve elected creepy presidents. Richard Nixon was about as creepy as they come. His 1972 campaign team was even called CREEP (the Committee to Re-Elect the President.) In this year’s race, though, Nixon would be just another face in the crowd.

A couple of candidates who dropped out were as creepy as a spider crawling up your leg. Ben Carson said he attempted murder when he was a teenager. When some reporters questioned whether or not he had tried to stab someone, he became indignant that they didn’t believe his claims of trying to kill a fellow human being. If that doesn’t qualify as creepy, little does. Chris Christie had a bit of creep factor already, but it skyrocketed when he was seen on-stage endorsing Donald Trump while standing in the position usually reserved for a candidate’s wife. The shifty-eyed death stare he gave the audience was just a bonus.

Bernie Sanders, through no fault of his own, is the oldest remaining candidate. And age has a built-in creep factor. People don’t like to think of aging or dying. Since I hope to one day attain the age Bernie is now at, I don’t like to acknowledge age-related creepiness, but it’s still a fact. The only thing creepier is someone around the same age trying to hide it via make-up or some sort of patently bad comb-over.

Speaking of which, hello Mr. Trump! The Donald is, of course, the creepiest of all the candidates. It would be easier to make a list of his non-creepy attributes than his creepy ones. From having to think about how early he must get up in order to get that hair in shape each morning, to his orange skin and white eyelids, to his unnatural preoccupation with women’s plumbing and the size of his own genitalia, his creepiness is off-the-charts. Despite Ted Cruz having been compared to Grandpa Munster – you can’t get much creepier than that - Trump manages to make Cruz appear as wholesome as Ward Cleaver by comparison.

I’m tempted to say the creepiest thing about Hillary Clinton is her husband, but recent appearances on talk shows have made me rethink that. Maybe you or I would be so tickled at having Bernie Sanders question our qualifications for the presidency that we’d break out in a spasm of cackling laughter the like of which has been unheard since the Evil Queen in Snow White, but I doubt it. It struck me as the type of patently phony laughter used by creeps to emphasize a point. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she really does laugh that way and, if so, brrrrrrrrrrr.

We are, so far, reluctantly facing the choice of the lesser of four creeps (five, if you want to count John Kasich, but he’s mostly creepy just because he refuses to acknowledge that he’s dead.) This could be the first election since 1972 where Richard Nixon would have had a legitimate chance.

Soon, but I'll be damned if I know with what.


13 comments:

OldAFSarge said...

Cue theme from The Twilight Zone...

joeh said...

I often wonder why anyone but a Creep would want this job. The press is brutal,you have no privacy, no matter what you do half of the country hates you and the job puts 15 years on you in the first term alone.

Craig said...

I'll mainly leave the 'creep factor' to speak for itself. But yeah, you make some good points here (I mean, 70-year-old guys who like to talk about their ex-wives' fake boobs. . . yeah, that's creepy. . .) And then there's this bit, which I forget where I saw it, but it serves to reinforce your point - If he is elected, Donald Trump will be the first US president to own a strip club. . . But, I told you I'd mainly leave the creepy stuff alone, so I will. . .

Just speaking in terms of age, though, I'm old enough to recall all the jokes about Reagan's age, and nodding off during cabinet meetings, etc, and he turned 70 a month or so into his first term. And there were some who just straight-up stated that a man his age couldn't manage a job of that magnitude, and the president's advanced age was a danger to national security.

But now you've got The Donald (70 this summer) and The Bern (75 this summer), both of whom will be older than Reagan was, even before the election, and Hillie will turn 70 months into her putative first term. But nobody seems to be overly concerned about their energy levels or attention spans. Curious. . .

Char said...

The only good thing about this election campaign is that it has an expiration date. The worst thing is that one of these "creeps" will be elected president! God, help this country.

(not necessarily your) Uncle Skip, said...

Gosh, I had the mistaken belief that the Trumpster was obsessing about his hand size...

...oh, heh, I get it now

messymimi said...

May i suggest you come back with any topic but politics, as even a discussion of how to whittle toothpicks would probably be a welcome diversion.

Barbara Shallue said...

Very creepy and no class left, whatsoever. It's a sad, sad, sad situation.

Mich said...

You'd probably appreciate this:

https://youtu.be/P3ZEzFp5uGA

Daryl said...

Drumph makes my BP rise .. i really cannot even look at him, i think his tanning bed/machine fried his very small brain a long time ago ... but i have to admit that hearing both his eldest daughter and second oldest son cannot vote for him in the NY Primary because - wait for it - they forget to register! made my day especially after his daughter produced umpteen commercials explaining HOW to register to vote in the various caucuses and primaries to-date and no, i will not give her a pass because she just had a Jewish baby in NY State

Cruz' worst attribute is not that he looks like the late great Al Lewis but that he is an extreme right wing religious zealot ...

i dont care which Democrat anyone votes for as long as they vote Democrat and save us from ether (or even the 'i am not running please ignore me Senator Paul I lift Weights but dont know anything about economics Ryan') of the Repugs

stepping off my soap box ..

xo

Jeni said...

I have to agree that the slate of candidates this year most certainly have to go down in history as possibly being the creepiest ever! And, if the Republican Convention does end up with the nomination coming from the floor, Heaven help us there too as I can't think of any one Republican I would possibly find any better than those still in the race!! Anyway you cut it, we're in for a long hard road ahead!

The Broad said...

Bernie is my husband's age and Hillary is a year younger that I am. My husband is quite irritating because he has opinions about everything and isn't shy about expressing them to the world at large -- I suspect it's a lot to do with his age, so I expect Bernie may be similarly irritating. Hillary still looks exhausted from her stint as Secretary of State. I remember when Reagan became President I was horrified by him politically anyway, but his age was a factor against him -- so we have a choice between the possibly doddering and The Donald, who should be a joke, but isn't; and Ted Cruz who is off-the-wall.

Maggie May said...

Yes..... we've been following things (to a point) over here. Must say ......an unusual bunch of characters!

We're also having our local elections in Bristol and also the vote across Britain, for Europe in or out, in the summer.
Not sure about things really.... time running out! Must decide.
Maggie x

Vapid Vixen said...

Pretty sure we're all doomed. DOOMED!