Thursday, June 05, 2014

Not Safe For Work (If You Work With Fillies & Mares)



As most people are aware, California Chrome has a chance to win the Triple Crown this weekend.

(If you're not most people, here's the deal: California Chrome is a racehorse; a 3-year-old, to be exact. He has won both The Kentucky Derby and The Preakness. If he wins The Belmont, being run this Saturday, it will be the first time in 36 years that a racehorse has captured the so-called "Triple Crown".)

My uncle, knowing my vast experience as a handicapper, wrote to ask me if I thought California Chrome would win.

(Much of my vast experience has come via picking losers, but that's how you learn to pick winners. Experience is costly, but effective.)

Anyway, here's our e-mail exchange. If you're looking for a hot tip, here it is.

From: James Sullivan <unclesemailaddress@emailservice.com>

To: James Sullivan <Suldog@aol.com>

Sent: Wed, Jun 4, 2014 6:50 pm

Subject: California Chrome


Will he win?


MY REPLY: 

I think so, but I wouldn't bet on it. The odds are too low. He's been installed as a 3 to 5 favorite; by post time, I wouldn't be surprised if it's 2 to 5. If I was desperate for a wager, I'd take Wicked Strong, who will likely go off at 7 to 1 or so. But I'm not desperate, so I'll just enjoy the race.

Here's a good tip, though. Before The Preakness, California Chrome was being led around the paddock (they were showing all the horses before they entered the track; they have a couple hours of TV time to fill for a one-and-a-half-minute race.) Anyway, they show him and he has a HUGE hard-on.

I've been to many racetracks and seen thousands of races, as you know, and that's the first time I have ever seen a horse with a hard-on before a race. So, since he won that one, I'd wait to see if he has a hard-on before the Belmont. If he does, then bet the house!

**************************************************************

So, in case you need to know what to look for, here's a handy visual aid...


 



If he's sporting wood, the bet is good!

Soon, with more bettor stuff.


21 comments:

joeh said...

He's waiting to go out to stud.

Sandy Kessler said...

Saying it like it is Now predict the NBA an NHL?? love and blessings to you and your s

Jinksy said...

Geez, did I come all the way over here just to know this?1 LOL What a way to start my day, never mind the horse's....

Suldog said...

Joe - It doesn't look as though he wants to wait too long.

Sandy - OK, but you're not going to like it. I predict the Spurs in 7. I also predict the Kings in 5 (I'm not sure how you feel about that one.)

Jinksy - I understand completely. Over there, you folks know how to REALLY do horse racing. I've enjoyed a day at Sandowne, Ascot, and I believe there was another track I visited named Aintree? You don't run 3-year-olds as though they were real racing horses instead of the virtual babies they actually are; you mostly wait until they've matured, and then you run them in races that are a true test, such as steeplechases and the like. Nothing over here compares to The Grand National.

Tabor said...

I did not know this was the way to judge races. My favorite part was watching them walk around before the race and seeing the fire in their eyes. Now I guess I will have to look elsewhere.

Suldog said...

Tabor - In this case, it was hard to look anywhere else...

OldAFSarge said...

Heh.

Jackie said...

I don't know what to say...
So, sometimes it's better to just smile and move on.
:)
Jackie
(Hugs to you, my friend.)

Buck said...

OMG... this is just freakin' FUNNY!

Craig said...

Jeez, he's hung like a horse!

(*ba-doomp!*)

And, looking at the photo, I am strangely nervous on behalf of his handler. . .

(Heh. . . "Handler")

silly rabbit said...

Ha! Wood is a good thing. Betting on it sounds reasonable to me! You always catch me with surprises like these. Thanks for the giggles.

Daryl said...

oh my ...

i hope this isn't how you're picking winners in basketball ...

Shammickite said...

Well, I'm not sure what to comment on this.... lots of things going through my head.... but none of them printable, so I'll just shut up and go away and tune the telly in to the Belmont....

Hilary said...

Well let's hope your uncle wins if he does in fact bet on him for that reason. I'd hate to think he'd follow your advice just to be shafted.. ;)

Suldog said...

No wood, no win...

troutbirder said...

Seems like a good theory to me...:)

troutbirder said...

Seems like a good theory to me...:)

Xavier said...

If this was Instagram you'da been suspended by now ;)

It pays to know your stuff even if it ain't pretty

Michelle H. said...

Too bad you can't tell a football team will win by the same method. I bet a whole lot more women would get interested in watching the sport, especially when they are wearing those tight uniforms.

Michelle H. said...
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Michelle H. said...
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